Monthly Archives: September 2012

Merissa

My husband had three girlfriends that had abortions when he was in his late teens and twenties. Prior to us getting married, he had shared that one girlfriend of his had an abortion but he didn’t know if the child was his or not and shrugged it off like he wasn’t affected by the abortion. But a year later, shortly after we got married, it became very apparent something major happened in his life that was bothering him tremendously.

He was experiencing lots of symptoms that seemed unrelated at first glance, but were pointing towards trauma he experienced in the past. For over a year, he went from doctor to doctor, getting different tests trying to figure out how all the symptoms were related. He wasn’t just experiencing emotional symptoms and we wanted to heal his physical symptoms too. A few months into our search for a solution, I started getting more involved in the pro-life movement and attended the Arizona Right to Life conference. It was there that I stopped at the Rachel’s Vineyard and Silent No More Awareness booth.

At the booth they had a couple of handouts showing the symptoms of abortion in both men and women. I looked through the list and all but one symptom my husband was experiencing or had experienced. I told the person at the booth, “That’s my husband.” This also put the pieces of the puzzle together for what I was experiencing. For over a year, I was praying and fasting asking God to tell me what was going on with my husband. Every once in a while, he would have fits of anger to what seemed out of nowhere. He’d go into deep depressions. He wasn’t much of a drinker, but at times all of a sudden he would seem to be an emotional drunk and just get completely wasted when his pain became too much. God started answering my prayers and giving me dreams of children.

In the dreams, it was clear the children were not mine. They were young and different ages. It was clear my husband was the father. I didn’t know what these dreams meant, but I would have them frequently. At the same time, my husband was also having dreams. The only reason I knew is because he would talk in his sleep. He would say things like, “Please don’t go.” When I saw the list of symptoms at the Silent No More Awareness table, it all clicked. I went back home and prayed and asked God for an opportunity to bring up this subject to my husband. He told me there was one abortion that happened when he was in his twenties. Then about a month later he told me another abortion happened when he was around seventeen.

As we started tracing back through his history, we found that his previous drug addictions and depression were triggered by that first abortion. Although, almost sixteen years later, he seemed to have “overcome” most of the painful feelings, the fact that he would have outbursts every few weeks showed that he was probably just suppressing his pain and it was showing up as the symptoms on that Silent No More Awareness sheet. It still took a few more months for us to find the right people to work with to help him get the proper healing. We found a counselor through “Mending the Soul.”

Within just a few days of seeking counseling, his symptoms started going away. He is now completely drug free and recovering from the rest of his symptoms. My husband and I now work to help educate others on the truth about abortion. Abortion takes the life of a child and destroys the lives of the parents and other family members involved. The reports and statistics are staggering as to how many people experience depression and PTSD after abortion. It is even more tragic how many people commit suicide after abortion, all the while the abortion industry continues to call this barbaric practice “safe.” There is nothing safe or convenient about abortion. We know from our own experiences that there is always a worse consequence to abortion.

There isn’t a day that goes by that my husband doesn’t wish he could be a father to his children. Even though I wasn’t even part of his life when these things happened, the chance to be at least a step-mother was stolen from me too.

Our future children will be the siblings of his aborted babies. But by the grace of God, we will see them one day and be reunited! We also support non-profits in our community to help give women a real choice and support them in their decision to birth and/or parent their children. There is no such thing as an unwanted child. There are hundreds of thousands of adoptive parents looking to become a family, praying God will fulfill their greatest wish to be loving parents!

Every human is created with value and called “great” by God. Abortion kills our future solutions. The only legitimate way to be for ‘choice’ when it comes to a baby is to help parents in crisis pregnancies find solutions for life! Many in the pro-life community have stepped up to the plate, but there is so much more work to be done. Will you join us! My husband is a music artist by profession. He wrote a song to tell his testimony of how God healed him from abortion. I hope it blesses you. http://youtu.be/BEgq7iAgz7s.

Lydia

I don’t know if you’ll even print my story but here you go. I’m 32, living with my partner and we have 2 kids now. When I was 21, I got pregnant. I didn’t know the guy all that well. My crowd of friends pretty much had lots of boyfriends and we didn’t think much about it when we slept with them. I didn’t have a problem with it then and I don’t now.

Anyway, I was pretty lucky I knew who the father would be because I’d been in a pretty heavy study time at uni and hadn’t gone out as much as usual. I told him and he didn’t seem like he minded one way or another what I did. I figured I was pretty early on and that abortion would be the easiest thing for us both.

I didn’t have much of a problem with the abortion. There were other women there, nobody looked happy but why would they? I didn’t even think much about it again until I got pregnant again when I was 27. That baby was to my current partner. When I told him I was pregnant he was really happy and then so was I. So we decided to have our son.

I have been reading some of the other stories here and I feel really bad for these other women, but I have never felt like they do, which is why I wonder if I’ll get a hearing. I didn’t feel really pressured and I didn’t feel really bad about it. The only thing is that I do think about it, I didn’t for a long time, but I do now. A lot.

Not in a really bad way, but when I look at my 2 kids now I wonder about the one that didn’t get to be. I think that I’m better off because now I’m settled and happy with my partner and maybe that wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t have the abortion. But then you never know do you.. not really, how things might have turned out if you made a different decision. Maybe things would be different. That doesn’t mean they would be worse. So I don’t know if regret is the right word for me. Wonder is a better word, I wonder ‘what if’ and feel a little sad and dreamy about it.

I don’t want you to print my name if you do print my story. My partner doesn’t know I had an abortion. Nobody does. I just want that person I didn’t get to have to know that I remember them in some way even though I never told anyone. That sounds stupid when I write it down. Anyway, maybe my story isn’t sad enough or terrible enough for you. Guess we’ll see. .

Margaret

I have just been reading about all this celebration of abortion by a bunch of radical feminists who presume they know what’s best for every woman. Having been one of their ilk, I know absolutely how they think and I for one am sick and tired of it. Feminism was supposed to free us from oppression, bring women the freedom to secure our own destinies. What it brought was a whole new kind of torture in the demise of our own children. They just exchanged the power base, and took it all for themselves to exert it on a new and unsuspecting generation of girls and women.

I had 2 abortions, 1 in my uni days when it was all the rage as a young feminist woman not to be ‘burdened’ with the children of men, the other 15 years later at the behest of my husband who decided we’d had enough children. I can tell you who I feel more angry with today, those women who encouraged me, told me I’d be more powerful, more in charge of myself, those women who are telling young women the same lies today. At least my husband was honest, at least I knew I was feeling pressured by him. The fact that I’d had an abortion before was part of his ammunition and part of my justification.

It was so wrong. I have only cried for my lost children once. I knew I couldn’t let myself do more than that or I would fall into a pit I’d never crawl out of.

To those who are celebrating the deaths of my children I say, ‘how dare you? How dare you take what is a tragic and devastating decision for so many and turn it into a reason to prance around like you actually care about the aftermath of what you encourage?’

I will be marching for the rights of my lost children, the rights of women to not succumb to these lies any longer, the rights of women to really be empowered and to say to those who are without any conscience while they thumb their noses at my grief, that they have NO right to dance on the tears of grieving women. How dare they. .

Jade

I want to start by saying I don’t know how any of these people can say abortion is a choice, more like a ‘you better or else!’ I’m not the only one of my friends who had family or friends or idiot boyfriends who said we had to do this horrid thing. I really had no idea, no idea at all. All I could think was that my mum and dad would stop sending me money for uni, my boyfriend said he wouldn’t support me and my life would be totally wrecked.

So he drives me to this clinic where I think I’ll get to tell someone how much pressure I’m under and all they do is tell me its probably ‘for the best’. For the best? What was I supposed to do then? My boyfriend’s in the car because they wouldn’t let him come in with me, there’s all these girls sitting in a waiting room, half of them crying like I wanted to and this is for the best? I went out and told my boyfriend I couldn’t do it and he was furious with me, told me to get back in, did I think my parents would support me. Well I guess I didn’t think they would and I was to scared to ask.

So I did it. I sat there numb and nobody seemed to care at all what I really wanted. They wanted my money. They wanted my baby.

After, my boyfriend looked at my face and I couldn’t hardly even look at him. He dropped me back to uni and I just laid on the bed and didn’t even get up for 2 days. He never even called me. My best friend rang my mum and told her what happened. She got me on the phone and my mum just cried and cried and asked me why.. she said they would have helped me.

It was only when she said that that I even really knew what I had done. I am so damn angry with that clinic. I even rang the clinic and tried to tell them what it was really like and all they cared about was telling me it was my choice, my decision, I signed a consent form. So I guess I did then. I am so damn angry with my boyfriend. I am even damn angry with 2 of my friends who have now told me about what happened to them and it wasn’t much better than what happened to me. Why didn’t they tell me before so I could have talked to them about it?

I need to tell my story because I will never want to be the reason why another girl goes through this. DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION! IT WILL KILL YOUR SOUL.

I need you to not use my name, because my mum says we can’t tell my dad or anyone else. It would destroy him. I want you to call me Jade because I think my baby would have been a girl and I would have named her Jade. .

Melissa

I’m only 16 and I only had my abortion this year (2012).   I’m kind of still shocked about it all and haven’t really talked to many people except my best friend.   My mum and dad have never mentioned it to me since it happened.   My mum took me to the clinic and there were a few people outside looking like they were praying.   This really scared me because it made me think about what I was really doing, but the person in the clinic explained that they were really just there to make us feel bad.   I wasn’t so sure and I did want to stop and talk to them, but mum and another lady really pushed me along on the footpath and told them to go away.

I remember as I walked in the door, looking back and wishing I could run back to them.

I felt really bad about getting pregnant.   My dad was just so disappointed and I just wanted him to keep loving me.  I didn’t even tell the boy I slept with.   I didn’t even mean for it to happen and I was scared everyone would just find out I’d had sex with him.  Even though he was the only one, I know everyone would think I’m a slut.

I sat in a waiting room with other girls.. only one who looked about as young as me.  The rest were older but everyone looked either really really sad, or really really scared.   I don’t know how I looked.   I still don’t know how I feel, except that there is space inside of me that feels wrong.. like it shouldn’t be there.   I never want to go to school anymore.   I don’t really care about anything anymore.   Nobody said anything about how I would feel.   I don’t know if I’m normal.   I know I just don’t want this anymore.   I wish I didn’t have to go through this.

Mostly I wish I didn’t get pregnant in the first place.   Then I wish that I’d had a chance to talk to someone.   I would be having a baby in a few weeks.   When I write that down I feel a pain inside me like I wish I never ever had to feel.

If someone is reading this whose daughter is pregnant, don’t make her have an abortion.   She won’t be the same.  I’m not… and I don’t know if I ever will be again..

Elle

I am almost 20 years old.  When I was 18, I fell pregnant; with twins. Being of a strong Christian back ground I knew how bad abortion was, and even though I had always said I would never have an abortion, when faced with these circumstances I didn’t know where to turn. I neglected my family, mainly because they were extremely pushy about it all, and I was so ‘in love’ with my boyfriend, that I would have rather made him happy then even myself.

Long story short, I was staying at my boyfriends parents place and let them dictate how I was to go about things. I caved in, and said yes to the abortion, and within 36 hours the deed was done.  I knew as soon as I had agreed, that I was making a mistake. Every single day since that day, I have wished that I was stronger.

I was young, and un educated.  I made so many excuses,  and the fact that I was already having so many issues with my pregnancy.  I stayed extremely angry at myself for a very long time. My boyfriend, didnt even stay with me. we didnt even last 3 days after the abortion.  I got heavy into drugs, and partying. After a month or two I became numb. I literally did not feel a thing. I was severely depressed and extremely suicidal.

Feeling like I had no hope, I tried to over dose on my medication… It didnt work, obviously.  As an act of desperation, I went to my old church. honestly, I played church for a while, i did stop doing drugs, and partying, but I never seeked God’s healing.  Finally, on my due date July 7th this year.. I cracked.  I begged for God’s forgiveness, as well as my parents and brother and sister.
I finally forgave myself, and asked God to make something good come out of this tragedy.  And boy, has He answered.  I have such a passion to tell the truth about what it is like on the inside of abortion clinics, from my point of view. I believe that I am to go into schools, with pastors, and others affected by abortions, and share my testimony.  I want to be given a chance to offer help to people, like I wasnt. Please, if anyone can help me put my plans into action, or has any ideas that will help.. including stats on everything for Austalia etc. PLEASE let me know.
what has happened to me, even though I was weak, has only made my desire to help stronger.

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