Monthly Archives: May 2014

Mel, the reality is slowing sinking in.

I had my abortion 2 years ago this week.  I’d always thought of myself as pro-choice.  My pro-choice friends encouraged me when I fell pregnant to a guy I hardly knew.  I wasn’t the first in my group to have an abortion.  Only one of my friends said she wondered if it was the best idea, hers didn’t work out so well.   I’ve lost touch with her.  Now that I think about it, I didn’t really see very much of her at all after I had my abortion.

I didn’t even think much about my abortion actually.  I went to a clinic.  It was pretty straightforward.  They didn’t bother me with too many questions.. seemed all a lot easier than perhaps it should have been in retrospect.  Just lately I’ve started seeing a lot of babies around.  One of my friends is pregnant and I was feeling very angry with her for no reason at all, then a few days ago I woke up in the middle of the night feeling panicky and I burst into tears.  This is so shocking to me.

I started googling to see if it was normal for me to feel angry at my friend and be thinking about my abortion, especially when I thought it was all in the past.  As I read the stories of other women, I started to cry.   This is when all my pro-choice friends would tell me I’m being brainwashed or at least stupid.  But it doesn’t feel like that at all.   My friend is having a baby…. a baby.   How come she is having a baby and I just stopped a pregnancy which apparently had nothing to do with a baby?

It really is all a lie.  My abortion wasn’t traumatic like I see it was for some women.  But then having a baby wouldn’t have been the end of my life either.  I would have coped.  I just didn’t really think of it.  I just took the easy way.  That’s what I thought anyway.

The reality is slowly sinking in.  And I’m not liking it at all..

Lisa, CA

“Please understand that by aborting your unborn child, that does not make the baby go away. Your baby will be in your heart until you die. After abortion – the guilt, shame and loneliness is horrible. Once you abort, you cannot go  back and change it.”


Susan, Pasadena

“I know millions of women across this country feel as I do about abortion. We all somehow know deep down inside that we alone made a horrible decision and no coined phrase about choice and rights or the denial of biological and fetal facts can ever erase the truth. For we as mothers instinctively know during those still moments of aloneness, that we ended the life of a separate human being growing inside of each and every one of us.”


Margaret, Oregon

“If you abort your child, this child will haunt you the rest of your life because no other child can replace him. Your  problems will multiply, not disappear. Talk to others who have had abortions, who have chosen not to abort, who have found other ways to give life instead of death to their children.

Abortion is wrong. Even if you don’t believe that for sure, wouldn’t it be smarter to err on the side of life? Abortion is irreversible – once it’s done, you have no more options.”


Carna, Seattle

“Having an abortion was the biggest, most tragic mistake of my life. If there is anything I can ever say or do that would change a woman’s or man’s abortion-bound course, I will do it.”



“I was deceived because I was not told the truth about what an abortion means to the life of an unborn baby. I was not told that at 10 weeks (which is when I had my abortion) my child was already fully formed. I was made to believe that I was doing something that was as natural as going to the dentist for a teeth cleaning.”

Sonya, Washington

Sonya had an abortion and advises other women, “Don’t do it. Regret of a permanent decision is like watching a sad movie over and over again and hoping the ending will change – but it never will.

Tewannah, Florida

“I was 18 when I got pregnant. At three months pregnant, I had an abortion. About seven years later… my heart  broke. I was so overcome with grief. How could I have taken the life of my unborn child?”

Carrie LA, California


“I was an emotional wreck. The following day I was empty, sad, numb. I knew that day I had made a huge mistake. I wish with all my heart I would have done things differently.”




Peta’s story

I am 18 and my partner is 20 – I have been with my partner for 10 months and we fell pregnant after being together 4 months.  I was on the pill when we started going out and when we moved in together (around 3 months in) we decided to go off the pill and try for a baby.

We tried this for a few weeks then realised it wasn’t working.  I had taken so many pregnancy tests at home and none had said positive.

I found out that I was 2 weeks pregnant (I just had a feeling something was different with my body).  I got a positive test done at the doctors.  My boyfriend has always been against abortion and I had mixed feelings on whether to go through and have the child or not.

I got up enough courage to tell my mum that I was pregnant and she was calm but very mean.

I love my mum but I do not doubt that she put things in my head to make me choose an abortion.  My mum had told me that she didn’t want anything to do with my baby if my boyfriend was going to be the father.  In saying that, I didn’t want to lose my mum so I booked the appointment for a termination.

My partner and I were sitting in the waiting room of the clinic while I was crying and my boyfriend was saying that we can leave at any point and I didn’t have to go through with it.  Knowing that I would lose my mum if I hadn’t done what she wanted, I went into surgery.

To this day I regret going through with it and wish that I was 5 months pregnant.  I think that I would love motherhood and I should never have let my family make such a big decision for me..