Monthly Archives: May 2016


At the time I was 18, my boyfriend 19.  I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and we had sex for the very first time on our 2 year anniversary… After months and months of sex I realized I missed my period from a period tracker app I have on my phone. So we talked and talked.  He really wanted the baby so he took extra hours at work and he saved a TON of money.  Me being pregnant I was upset that he couldn’t talk to me as much or he couldn’t be around as much because he was literally always working for the baby and I.

I lived at home with my mum.  I was supposed to be leaving for school  but I missed it because I was focused on the baby and my health my mum didn’t know and at this point I was 2-3 months.  I didn’t tell her because I knew that she would say to get an abortion but I wanted my baby so I said nothing.

Eventually she started to notice (of course) and she took me to a clinic and I heard his/her heart beat they took measurements etc and I even have pictures so as soon as we left and my mum found out I was 20 weeks she said find a nearby abortion clinic that do late term abortions.   My heart sank.  Weeks later she cursed me out and she threatened to kick me out as I cried hysterically till my eyes were swollen shut.  She walked by and called me horrible names and saying that my boyfriend would leave me and that he won’t take care of the kid and I told her I would just do it…

I did it because I wanted to make someone else happy and I had to convince myself that I disliked my boyfriend even though in my heart I knew he would be there. My mum had an abortion around my age and she told me when I was 15 that she regretted it and she got pregnant soon after that and had a boy and he’s a mislead and rebellious and that scares me I don’t want that to happen to me but me and my boyfriend are still together.

I have a job now and I am starting school again soon…and to this day me and him cry and struggle knowing we would’ve been able to take care of him/her.  On the 30th he/she would be 4 months old.   I know God forgives me but it’s hard for me to forgive myself I just wish I would’ve fought harder if only I knew then what I know now


I had a surgical abortion done on the 4th of may 2016. I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant, seeing those 2 lines on the pregnancy test shocked me. I didn’t know what to do.

Telling my partner was the hardest, we’d had a miscarriage the previous month. He took it pretty well. But he knew we both weren’t ready for this sort of thing.
I waited a week to go to the doctors, the doctor referred me to get a scan done. To find out how far along I was. So I booked the appointment and went in to get the scan done.
The second I saw it on the scan, my heart broke. It was just a small sack, with a little tiny heart beat. Barely there, so small, so innocent. I changed my mind for a split second.

More arguments were to come with my partner. We both just didn’t know what to do. We were both scared. So the only option we could come up with was abortion.
I waited another 4 weeks before calling the clinic to book a consultation appointment. I dreaded the appointment, deep down I didn’t want to do it.
I was close to 8 weeks pregnant by the time I went to the clinic, they did a scan to confirm how far along I was. I refused to look at the screen when the doctor did the scan.
Soon after I was taken in for the procedure. I was told to remove my pants and undies, and put on a gown. I laid down on a chair and from there on I cant remember the rest of it.

When I woke up I felt guilty, angry at myself. I couldn’t stop crying. My partner felt guilty too. He kept saying ‘sorry’ over and over again.
Deep down I don’t even know if I did the right thing, I keep thinking about the baby and if it had been a boy or girl.