Monthly Archives: July 2017

17 years, a grandchild remembered

My story is nearly 17 years old but is as fresh today as it was then.
My 18 yr old son and his 17 yr old girl in their pledge to be together forever, decided naively to try for a baby. They quickly achieved a pregnancy and were planning for this child.
I myself was also pregnant, and when my son came to me and told me this my instinct was to share my prenatal vitamins etc. Just a few weeks later his girlfriend after telling her parents about the baby, began to behave differently. It quickly came to light that they had persuaded her that by having this child she would wreck her plans for her career and become just another teenage mum.
I tried my hardest to talk to her and told her I would support and help her as much as she needed, to no avail. I held her hand as I begged her for the life of my grandchild, but the limp clammy hand signalled it was falling on deaf ears.
I got home from work one Sunday evening to find my 18 year old son sobbing uncontrollably as he told me the abortion was scheduled for the next day. I held him in my arms and sobbed with him. He wrote the most beautiful poem to his unborn child ( he believed God had shown him it was a daughter) which I may share at some point, but it was written in love and a broken heart, and to this day, tears my heart out. I pleaded with God the whole night for the life of this child, my own baby kicking in my belly. Somehow, quietly and gently He told me He would not violate the girls will, it was her choice. Over the next 12 hours peace came and grew in my heart; I knew there was nothing I could do, as my son wrote in his poem, she was on her way to be with the Lord.
Every November I remember that day, and every beginning of June I think of how old she would be now, just 2 months younger than my own daughter. I know I will see her one day, and I know my son and I did all we could, but the loss is still palpable. Love you Leah x