Grandparents

17 years, a grandchild remembered

My story is nearly 17 years old but is as fresh today as it was then.
My 18 yr old son and his 17 yr old girl in their pledge to be together forever, decided naively to try for a baby. They quickly achieved a pregnancy and were planning for this child.
I myself was also pregnant, and when my son came to me and told me this my instinct was to share my prenatal vitamins etc. Just a few weeks later his girlfriend after telling her parents about the baby, began to behave differently. It quickly came to light that they had persuaded her that by having this child she would wreck her plans for her career and become just another teenage mum.
I tried my hardest to talk to her and told her I would support and help her as much as she needed, to no avail. I held her hand as I begged her for the life of my grandchild, but the limp clammy hand signalled it was falling on deaf ears.
I got home from work one Sunday evening to find my 18 year old son sobbing uncontrollably as he told me the abortion was scheduled for the next day. I held him in my arms and sobbed with him. He wrote the most beautiful poem to his unborn child ( he believed God had shown him it was a daughter) which I may share at some point, but it was written in love and a broken heart, and to this day, tears my heart out. I pleaded with God the whole night for the life of this child, my own baby kicking in my belly. Somehow, quietly and gently He told me He would not violate the girls will, it was her choice. Over the next 12 hours peace came and grew in my heart; I knew there was nothing I could do, as my son wrote in his poem, she was on her way to be with the Lord.
Every November I remember that day, and every beginning of June I think of how old she would be now, just 2 months younger than my own daughter. I know I will see her one day, and I know my son and I did all we could, but the loss is still palpable. Love you Leah x

Rachel, a grandchild lost

I am grieving with you, your son and family at this time Debbie.

My heart aches for everyone affected by abortion. I lost my 13 week old grandchild to abortion on 6 June 2012 despite offering every kind of support possible to my son’s 19 year old girlfriend.

When my son and his girlfriend visited me to let me know she was pregnant she never mentioned getting rid of the baby. In fact, she indicated quite the opposite. They were both nervous about my reaction to the news but cried and hugged me when I instantly offered my love and support. She told me she had already seen the university counsellor and had been assured there was nothing to stop her finishing her degree even after the baby was born as they had childcare facilities. However, she went on to say she was scared about telling her parents because she didn’t think her mother would be supportive. A few days later my son went with her to see her parents and everything changed.

My heart broke for this young lady as she suffered two weeks of emotional and physical coercion from her parents which forced her down a path she never wanted to walk. It was heartbreaking to witness the physical and emotional threats made towards her by her parents. She was told she would have to leave home; threatened to be cut her off from her family; told not to tell anyone (including her siblings) about the baby; isolated from friends, the outside world and all support; told she would be responsible for any actions her parents might take (mother threatened to leave her father if he didn’t support her decision for her daughter to have an abortion); told to put on a happy face and act like nothing was wrong; forced to break up with her boyfriend of two years (my son)….and much much more.

The day before my grandchild died we were read the emotional letter this young lady wrote to a friend. It was heartbreaking. She told of her parent’s anger and threats. She explained that she was afraid of what they would do and scared of never seeing her family again (especially her nephew and niece). She was upset at the possibility of losing the boyfriend she loved because he didn’t want her to abort their baby. She went on to say that family meant so much to her and she felt she had no choice but to have an abortion. She closed the letter expressing the distress and grief she was going through at the thought of never getting to hold her baby in her arms.

After the abortion my son was the only one she felt she could turn to. She was distressed, in pain, confused and broken. Despite my son’s intense grief over the loss of his much wanted and loved child he still tried to help his girlfriend. When her parents found out that she was talking to him they insisting she have nothing to do with him or our family and forced her to cut us off. This beautiful girl ended up not just losing her baby but everyone she felt she could could turn to in her grief.

Having witnessed what this young lady went through, supporting my son though his grief and dealing with my own, it makes me wonder how anyone can say abortion will help these young girls have a better life. Abortion not only kills babies but hurts mothers and fathers, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and so many others..

Debbie: loss of a grandchild

On 4th April, 2014, the life of my 4th grandchild, my son’s first child was ended in an abortion clinic.  This child’s parents had dated for 2 years, become engaged, bought baby clothes and furniture, and named their child, Cole James for a boy, Lyra Grace for a girl.

Nothing we did to reassure this young mother of our support, even after she and my son had planned for their baby and were excitedly welcoming him or her, could overcome the fears and insecurities that others close to her magnify in her mind…  She wouldn’t be able to manage a baby and complete her education…  She would lose her entire youth…  She would never be supported in the way we had promised…   all lies.

She was cut off from those most trying to help her, by those who did not want to support her in her decision to have her baby, but instead were determined to ensure she rode the conveyor belt of doubt and fear all the way to abortion.

My son learned of the circumstances of his child’s death 2 days later when he woke to find the mother crying on his doorstep about the terrible mistake she had made.

He was broken.

We all are.

Abortion does not just hurt women and their children.  It hurts the fathers of the children.  It leaves a gap in a family where a child should be, a child who was wanted, and already loved.  It is a pathway of destruction that no woman deserves..