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Elle

I am almost 20 years old.  When I was 18, I fell pregnant; with twins. Being of a strong Christian back ground I knew how bad abortion was, and even though I had always said I would never have an abortion, when faced with these circumstances I didn’t know where to turn. I neglected my family, mainly because they were extremely pushy about it all, and I was so ‘in love’ with my boyfriend, that I would have rather made him happy then even myself.

Long story short, I was staying at my boyfriends parents place and let them dictate how I was to go about things. I caved in, and said yes to the abortion, and within 36 hours the deed was done.  I knew as soon as I had agreed, that I was making a mistake. Every single day since that day, I have wished that I was stronger.

I was young, and un educated.  I made so many excuses,  and the fact that I was already having so many issues with my pregnancy.  I stayed extremely angry at myself for a very long time. My boyfriend, didnt even stay with me. we didnt even last 3 days after the abortion.  I got heavy into drugs, and partying. After a month or two I became numb. I literally did not feel a thing. I was severely depressed and extremely suicidal.

Feeling like I had no hope, I tried to over dose on my medication… It didnt work, obviously.  As an act of desperation, I went to my old church. honestly, I played church for a while, i did stop doing drugs, and partying, but I never seeked God’s healing.  Finally, on my due date July 7th this year.. I cracked.  I begged for God’s forgiveness, as well as my parents and brother and sister.
I finally forgave myself, and asked God to make something good come out of this tragedy.  And boy, has He answered.  I have such a passion to tell the truth about what it is like on the inside of abortion clinics, from my point of view. I believe that I am to go into schools, with pastors, and others affected by abortions, and share my testimony.  I want to be given a chance to offer help to people, like I wasnt. Please, if anyone can help me put my plans into action, or has any ideas that will help.. including stats on everything for Austalia etc. PLEASE let me know.
what has happened to me, even though I was weak, has only made my desire to help stronger.

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