Karina’s Poem

           THE   RIVER

The widest river full of tears could never wash away

The pain and deep regret that I lived with every day

My intense shame and sorrow was too great to tell

In fact, my life had become more like a living hell

I thought I deserved the tormented existence that I led

After all, four babies, by my choice, were dead

But did I really “choose” for my babies to die?

When it comes to abortion, the word “choice” is a lie

Resignation is a word closer to the mark

Other options are left very much in the dark

The clinic counsellor is there to “help” you decide

Have they been there? Have they done that?

What makes them qualified?

After being told “the facts” and assured that this is no big deal

You’re asked to sign consent for the life they’re about to steal

And no matter how much you cry or wish there was another way

No one acknowledges your confusion – to them it’s just another day

Just another day at the death clinic where lives are lost before they’re born

Little souls going up to Heaven, mothers left behind to mourn

But mourn what? You’re told that you’re supposed to feel relieved

Then why do I feel so bad inside; I think I’ve been deceived

Deceived by that package labelled “choice”; it was all a great big lie

I’ll never get to see my baby, nurse it or even hear it cry

If it’s “no big deal” then why do I feel so rotten to my core

And why does my empty womb grieve for the babe it never bore

Why can’t I stop the ache that comes from so deep within my soul?

Will anything ever fill this raw and ragged, crater-shaped hole?

I couldn’t bear the thought of carrying this burden even just one more day

But Jesus that’s when You came to me and offered to take my burden away

At first I didn’t want to let it go and You so patiently understood

I didn’t want to forgive myself and You so gently told me I should

But Jesus, what happened to those dear little babies I let go

“I have them” You said, “they’re safe with me, but there’s something they want you to know

“They want you to know they love you and they’re waiting here with Me

“Waiting for their Mum, until together you can spend eternity

“They forgive you and so do I, so let My river of blood flow each day

“To consume all of the shame and guilt that your tears could never wash away”

Thank you dear Jesus for cleansing me in the healing river of Your blood

You washed me even whiter than snow when I felt as dirty as mud

So Jesus please tell my little babies that I love them with all my heart

That I’m sorry I never gave them life and that for now we are apart

I’m so grateful Jesus that my precious babies are with You

And I look forward to the day when I can be there with them too

Karina   3-2-06

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