Kim’s story

I was 22 when I fell pregnant and I would have finished uni about 3 months before the baby would have been due.   I was kind of excited at first, but when I told my boyfriend… when I saw the look on his face… well, he didn’t really need to say very much.. I knew he wasn’t happy.    He said it wasn’t really the right time, that we should finish uni, work, maybe get married, then have kids in a few years.

I spoke to my mum and she really said much the same thing.   ‘you can have another baby… a planned baby… when you’re ready for one’.

I figured if my boyfriend wasn’t ready, then maybe it was silly to think I was.   I knew I couldn’t do it on my own.   I didn’t want that for my baby.   So I had an abortion.   I was kind of numb when I went to the place.  There were all these other girls sitting in the waiting room… some cried, others looked like I felt, as though part of them weren’t even there.. a part of them had died already.

I don’t remember much about the abortion itself.   All of us girls had a kind of group information session and nobody looked very comfortable asking questions.   I had questions as I was quite scared.. but I was more scared to ask them.

When I got home it felt really strange, like it never really happened.  I found it kind of hard to believe I had been pregnant.  My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks later.  He said I had changed and wasn’t happy anymore.

It’s been 3 years.   I finished uni, but I didn’t really care too much.  I haven’t had a job.  I have had lots of boyfriends.. not real ones.. just the kind to help you feel a little something.. mostly like crap.

Maybe abortion is good for some people, but I haven’t met anyone who said it was.   Nobody told me this kind of hell was even possible..

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