Rachel, a grandchild lost

I am grieving with you, your son and family at this time Debbie.

My heart aches for everyone affected by abortion. I lost my 13 week old grandchild to abortion on 6 June 2012 despite offering every kind of support possible to my son’s 19 year old girlfriend.

When my son and his girlfriend visited me to let me know she was pregnant she never mentioned getting rid of the baby. In fact, she indicated quite the opposite. They were both nervous about my reaction to the news but cried and hugged me when I instantly offered my love and support. She told me she had already seen the university counsellor and had been assured there was nothing to stop her finishing her degree even after the baby was born as they had childcare facilities. However, she went on to say she was scared about telling her parents because she didn’t think her mother would be supportive. A few days later my son went with her to see her parents and everything changed.

My heart broke for this young lady as she suffered two weeks of emotional and physical coercion from her parents which forced her down a path she never wanted to walk. It was heartbreaking to witness the physical and emotional threats made towards her by her parents. She was told she would have to leave home; threatened to be cut her off from her family; told not to tell anyone (including her siblings) about the baby; isolated from friends, the outside world and all support; told she would be responsible for any actions her parents might take (mother threatened to leave her father if he didn’t support her decision for her daughter to have an abortion); told to put on a happy face and act like nothing was wrong; forced to break up with her boyfriend of two years (my son)….and much much more.

The day before my grandchild died we were read the emotional letter this young lady wrote to a friend. It was heartbreaking. She told of her parent’s anger and threats. She explained that she was afraid of what they would do and scared of never seeing her family again (especially her nephew and niece). She was upset at the possibility of losing the boyfriend she loved because he didn’t want her to abort their baby. She went on to say that family meant so much to her and she felt she had no choice but to have an abortion. She closed the letter expressing the distress and grief she was going through at the thought of never getting to hold her baby in her arms.

After the abortion my son was the only one she felt she could turn to. She was distressed, in pain, confused and broken. Despite my son’s intense grief over the loss of his much wanted and loved child he still tried to help his girlfriend. When her parents found out that she was talking to him they insisting she have nothing to do with him or our family and forced her to cut us off. This beautiful girl ended up not just losing her baby but everyone she felt she could could turn to in her grief.

Having witnessed what this young lady went through, supporting my son though his grief and dealing with my own, it makes me wonder how anyone can say abortion will help these young girls have a better life. Abortion not only kills babies but hurts mothers and fathers, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and so many others..

2 Responses to Rachel, a grandchild lost

  • Lyn says:

    Thanks for your bravery in writing this. You summed it up very well in your last paragraph. So sad…

  • Seth says:

    Abortion didn’t help this young lady out because it wasn’t her decision. She was coerced into it through threats. Whether you’re pro-choice or pro-life, anything of this magnitude needs to be your decision and yours alone. Whatever actions you take are ones you have to live with. As for extended family, I realise that the pain of losing a potential “grandchild” or “child” is pretty great and I hope you have come through. Thoughts and prayers!

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