Sandra

I was relieved after my abortion.. that I didn’t have to tell anyone.. didn’t have to change my life… I’d even almost forgotten about it.  It wasn’t until my sister announced her pregnancy only 2 weeks later that I realised that it wasn’t the quick fix I’d hoped for…   that I had been pregnant… pregnant… just like my sister was now… yet she was happy and announcing it.. I had hidden it… tried not to think about it.

Now she was having a baby… and I realised that I had been too.   I had been having a baby….   not a’problem’…. but a baby.

I was so angry, I couldn’t quite get my head around the truth of it.  I still haven’t really.  How could I not have know?   How could I have bought the quick fix solution without thinking about it properly?   I think it is just that I was so panicked at the time.   The clinic said they could take care of things for me that morning.. that it would all be over.

Except now I know it will never be over.   My sister’s baby was born a week ago… she is so beautiful… and my soul is broken..