Tamra

Thanks so much for this site, and the wonderful stories.   I’m surprised more women haven’t sent their stories in, but you know, it’s really tough to talk about this stuff.  I don’t really know why except that it is such a big enourmous thing to have happened in your life and when you do talk about it, it is so full of confusion and sadness, and grief, that it it too hard.

I had my abortion 3 years ago.  I was at uni.  It was pretty straightforward really.  I didn’t think much about it, kind of like some of the other girls here.  Its funny really that it can seem so simple, so just .. umm.. accepted, that you can hardly give it a thought, especially when things are so busy and you just go to the clinic ‘cos thats where they say to go and you go there not really knowing what to expect but then you have it done and leave and its over and you don’t even really have time to think about what happened.

I just got on with things.  Didn’t think about it for ages.  Then when one of my friends was pregnant and talked about having an abortion, I just couldn’t believe how quickly I said NO, kind of yelled it really.   We both just stopped and then I burst into tears and she was comforting me instead of me being the strong one I was supposed to be and helping her.

Then I knew how wrong it was.   I didn’t even know I thought that.  I don’t think I had.   But when she said that’s what she was doing, everything came back and I just broke down.  Then I started searching around and found so many stories where people were so sad, like they didn’t really understand what had happened and I knew it was exactly like me.

There is something wrong when something so big, so HUGE can happen before you even ‘get it’.  And I didn’t I ‘get it’?   I thought there must be something wrong with me, but I guess not if it is happening to others.

I think there needs to be a waiting period.   Someone needs to sit you down, look you straight in the eye and be very clear about what you are doing, and make ABSOLUTELY sure you know what it means.  Then you should be made to wait to make sure you REALLY know about it.

I might ring you and see how I can help other people.   Maybe not just yet, but in the future definitely.  Thank you so much.   Tamra.

3 Responses to Tamra

  • Jessica Mannion says:

    Thank-you Tamra, you have already begun helping others facing this prospect – your friend and all those who will read your testimony either pre or post abortion. ultimately you have begun the act of helping others by allowing yourself to search and acknowledge your feelings.
    I cant imagine how hard it was to type each letter that you wrote. it shows your amazing strength and that you are on your way to healing.
    You have also helped others in knowing how to actively care for those facing this prospect and those who are dealing with their loss as confusing as it is.
    so well done and thank-you, i know i appreciate you sharing this deep experience xo

  • Lyn Schoof says:

    It is hard to talk about abortion, so thank you for sharing. It is these stories which may make a difference in the lives of other women who are considering the same thing now. It may seem little, but I think you have done a lot, simply by trusting to share!!

  • Hi Tamra – your words, “I think there needs to be a waiting period.” are so true! So many girls are rushed into this life-altering decision. There was a waiting period introduced into the ACT some years ago and it was overturned. In Victoria, this waiting period issue was put as an amendment to their abortion bill but was turned down. So even when good people try and protect our beautiful young women who are pregnant and upset about it, you are let down by the legislation.

    We pray that you will find the inner strength to continue on your path of wanting to speak out about the harm of abortion. You will help many women chose a happier path.

    Love and comfort to you,

    Teresa

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