Think again, Mel

Today is the 12/10/14.  Four days from now will be the due date of the baby I will never have.  I terminated at 11 weeks for, what I thought at the time, were sound reasons. I take medications that are highly teratogenic and I was convinced that my child would suffer a multitude of painful conditions if they made it through birth at all. I was then told by my specialist that the only way forward would be to stop my meds all together and I did not feel that I was able to take that risk with my mental health without the right support around.

I am having a really difficult time living with the choice I made.  I feel sick, sad & incredibly guilty.  Most of all, I feel robbed of the chance to be a mother and my grief will never fade.  I have always been very much pro-choice and I am an atheist so this is not religiously motivated but I urge anyone thinking about termination to think again.  Take all the time you need.  I agonized over my decision and still made the wrong one.  I cried all the way to the clinic and haven’t really stopped.  I think about my baby every day and the life we could have had together.  I wish anyone reading this the strength to make the right choice..

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